Se você realmente quer aprender uma língua estrangeira; compreender piadas contadas neste idioma é muito importante, pois elas auxiliam não somente na compreensão estrutural e gramatical do idioma, como também nos aspectos culturais de onde ele é falado.
Piadas em inglês são sempre uma boa fonte de aprendizado. Todo mundo curte ler e ouvir piadas, as quais são cheias de phrasal verbs e slangs (gírias) que você pode aplicar na conversação do inglês cotidiano.
Se você não entender a piada em inglês, terá motivação para descobrir o significado das gírias, jargões, expressões idiomáticas e vocabulário, pois você quer rir, assim como os outros que entendem, e não ficar "por fora"!
Let’s enjoy the following Jokes till you laugh your head off!
God and the man
A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"
God says "No, ask me anything at all."
So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time, so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"
God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."
The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you, how much is a million dollars?"
God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."
The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me five cents please?"
God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son. Just wait five minutes!"
British Humour
Drunk Man
One completely drunk man stood under the Nelson's Column and poured off.
A bobby came up to him and said:
- Excuse me, sir. But it's the Nelson's Column*...
- I fuck your Nelson!
- Excuse me, sir. But it's a public place...
- I fuck your public!
- Excuse me, sir. But the Queen has a promenade** here sometimes.
- I fuck your queen!!!
- Indeed?!
- In bed!
- Oh, I am sorry your majesty!
*Nelson's Column is a monument in Trafalgar Square, London, England. The column was built between 1840 and 1843 to commemorate Admiral Horatio Nelson's death at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805. He was one of Britain's best-loved heroes, who fought valiantly for his country and won four notable naval battles, at the personal cost of losing an arm and one eye.
**Promenade - A leisurely walk, especially one taken in a public place as a social activity
British Cannibal
A cannibal spent four years studying at Oxford University*. At the end of it, he was asked,
"When you return to the jungle, will you still continue to eat human flesh?"
"Of course I will," he replied, "But I'll always use a knife and fork."
*Oxford is a famous English university in the town of Oxford. Oxford English is believed to be the purest English with the most prestigious pronunciation. Many people who live in Oxford do not speak it. Many educated people who do not live in Oxford or even in England, speak it.
Good Manners
A teacher was giving her class of small children a lesson on good manners.
"Suppose, by mistake, you step on a lady's foot. What do you do?"
"I say pardon me."
"Very good. Now suppose the lady, to reward you, gives you a coin. What do you do?"
"Step on the other foot to get a second one."
Don't generalize
In a school in the States, the teacher had just described Christopher Columbus' discovery of America.
"Just imagine, children, if he had not risked the ocean, you would not be here today. Wasn't he marvellous?"
All the children cheered, except one.
"Aren't you pleased young fellow?"
"No miss."
"Why?"
"I'm an Indian."
Doubled
A man complained to his neighbour at the bar, "Yesterday, I thought I'd solved all my problems. I thought I'd found a way to forget my mother-in-law. I went to the pub and got drunk."
"Did it work?"
"No, when I got home I found two of her waiting."
*Note that the plural is not mother-in-laws, but mothers-in-law.
Boozed
"What's this I hear, old pal? Your wife's left you, old man? Well, why don't you go home and drown your sorrows* in booze**?"
"Impossible."
"No booze?"
"No sorrow."
*to drown your sorrows = to drink until you forget your problems.
**booze = alcoholic drink
Amazing thing
A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole whose selling point was that it was on top of the largest skyscraper in town.
Another man walks in and asks the bartender for a Jack Daniel's. He downs it, and then takes a running leap out the window.
Much to everybody's surprise, he floats back up and climbs through the window back into the bar.
The man at the bar is amazed and asks the man how he did it.
"Easy," says the man. "Outside this window are some very strong wind currents which can carry you back to the window."
"Wow," says the man at the bar. "I gotta try this." He takes a running leap out the window and falls to a horrible, bloody, and flat death.
"Geez, Superman," says the bartender. "You can be a real a jerk when you're drunk."
